Family

“I’m Sorry” – A Blog Post from The Blended Daddy

Tonight’s guest post is from the Blended Daddy:

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“I’m Sorry”

So this blog post is coming straight from the heart of this Blended Daddy! While I generally leave the blogging to my beautiful wife, I was impressed to write about something that happened this morning. You see, my heart was broken. Not by my children, or my wife, or even by my ex-wife. It was broken by me. Yes….ME! So here is the background. My wife had to leave for work a little earlier than normal, so that meant it was up to me to get this ship in motion and the kids to the bus on time. As I walked out of my bedroom, I noticed my son chowing down on some cookies he got the day before from Subway. He looked at me and smiled (as if I would approve of that for breakfast) and I asked him why he was eating a cookie for breakfast. He immediately went into defensive mode and started yelling and arguing. My efforts to calm him down did not work and I wound up frustrated, so I walked out of the room to get his sister out of bed. When I came back in he had stomped into the kitchen, mumbling under his breath. I advised him to get some oatmeal and he again launched into me. With every bit of restraint I warned him that his actions were going to lead to very uncomfortable consequences…..and then the fight started. He started yelling and screaming in my face, I returned the favor and the situation escalated into something I did not want. Like two volcanos, we were both erupting…….until I was snarling in his face and saw him completely breakdown. In that moment, with my heart racing, tempers flaring, and my blood boiling……I realized that this precious little boy was now broken and in tears………….and my heart just BROKE! Neither one of us woke up with the intention to blast each other but it escalated so much faster than I thought it could. In that moment, I could have said “Well, I’m the parent and he’s the kid. He needs to learn respect.” Actually…….I think I said those exact words to him. But as fast as it started, it ended with both of us crying and holding each other close. The only words I could muster up to say to him were “I’m Sorry.” And I repeated those words as I hugged him and kissed him repeatedly. You see, I know that we have the power of life and death in our words. Our children hang on to everything we say. A negative tone, sarcastic comment, or even hateful word can all but destroy them and I felt like I was not showing him how to be graceful but I could show him how to humble myself and tell him two powerful words that most prideful men (or women) never say…..”I’m Sorry.” “I’m Sorry” says “look I was wrong and I won’t do it again” or “I should be better, please forgive me.” Did I mention, this is my stepson I’m talking about? But who cares about that? I consider him my son…………and that makes all the difference in the world.

I am not perfect and I don’t have it all together. In fact, I constantly have to ask for forgiveness and repent because I mess up……..ALL……..THE……….TIME. But I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new EVERY morning and then when we mess up, he forgives us 77 times 7. God wants you to know that you will never be perfect and that His grace is sufficient. Whatever your challenges are as you work to blend your family, I challenge you to constantly humble yourself and apologize to your children, spouse, and anyone else you have offended and/or hurt. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s the hardest thing to do to admit when you are wrong. Let’s face it, men have egos and when those egos get bruised, or better yet, get puffed up……….humbling yourself is either like a needle popping a balloon or a big swift kick in the gonads. But each time you do it, God builds a stronger character in you. I don’t want my kids to remember me as the one who yelled in their face or destroyed them with my words but rather remember their daddy as one who apologized when he was wrong, and strived to be gracious, compassionate, forgiving, and who chose his words wisely. Proverbs tells us that “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Are your words like apples of gold in settings of silver, or are they like sour vinegar?